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第65部分(第1页)

They are like serpents trying to swallow themselves because they

are hungry。〃

Ursula was introduced by her friend to various women and men;

educated; unsatisfied people; who still moved within the smug

provincial society as if they were nearly as tame as their

outward behaviour showed; but who were inwardly raging and

mad。

It was a strange world the girl was swept into; like a chaos;

like the end of the world。 She was too young to understand it

all。 Yet the inoculation passed into her; through her love for

her mistress。

The examination came; and then school was over。 It was the

long vacation。 Winifred Inger went away to London。 Ursula was

left alone in Cossethay。 A terrible; outcast; almost poisonous

despair possessed her。 It was no use doing anything; or being

anything。 She had no connection with other people。 Her lot was

isolated and deadly。 There was nothing for her anywhere; but

this black disintegration。 Yet; within all the great attack of

disintegration upon her; she remained herself。 It was the

terrible core of all her suffering; that she was always herself。

Never could she escape that: she could not put off being

herself。

She still adhered to Winifred Inger。 But a sort of nausea was

ing over her。 She loved her mistress。 But a heavy; clogged

sense of deadness began to gather upon her; from the other

womans contact。 And sometimes she thought Winifred was ugly;

clayey。 Her female hips seemed big and earthy; her ankles and

her arms were too thick。 She wanted some fine intensity; instead

of this heavy cleaving of moist clay; that cleaves because it

has no life of its own。

Winifred still loved Ursula。 She had a passion for the fine

flame of the girl; she served her endlessly; would have done

anything for her。

〃e with me to London;〃 she pleaded to the girl。 〃I will

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