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war。 She was very confused。
Skrebensky was busy; he could not e to see her。 She asked
for no assurance; no security。 What was between them; was; and
could not be altered by avowals。 She knew that by instinct; she
trusted to the intrinsic reality。
But she felt an agony of helplessness。 She could do nothing。
Vaguely she knew the huge powers of the world rolling and
crashing together; darkly; clumsily; stupidly; yet colossal; so
that one was brushed along almost as dust。 Helpless; helpless;
swirling like dust! Yet she wanted so hard to rebel; to rage; to
fight。 But with what?
Could she with her hands fight the face of the earth; beat
the hills in their places? Yet her breast wanted to fight; to
fight the whole world。 And these two small hands were all she
had to do it with。
The months went by; and it was Christmas……the snowdrops
came。 There was a little hollow in the wood near Cossethay;
where snowdrops grew wild。 She sent him some in a box; and he
wrote her a quick little note of thanks……very grateful and
wistful he seemed。 Her eyes grew childlike and puzzled。 Puzzled
from day to day she went on; helpless; carried along by all that
must happen。
He went about at his duties; giving himself up to them。 At
the bottom of his heart his self; the soul that aspired and had
true hope of self…effectuation lay as dead; still…born; a dead
weight in his womb。 Who was he; to hold important his personal
connection? What did a man matter personally? He was just a
brick in the whole great social fabric; the nation; the modern
humanity。 His personal movements were small; and entirely
subsidiary。 The whole form must be ensured; not ruptured; for
any personal reason whatsoever; since no personal reason could
justify such a breaking。 What did personal intimacy matter? One
had to fill ones place in the whole; the great scheme of mans
elaborate civilization; that was all。 The Whole
mattered……but the unit; the person; had no importance;
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