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Dan had been thinking about this more than ever recently。 He hadn’t seen Serena since before Christmas; four days ago。 He’d called her tonight to invite her to a movie; but she was meeting Blair。 Dan had gone to Film Forum alone; and surprised himself by buying a ticket to the new Hollis Lyons film。
He’d thought about Vanessa the whole time; which made sense; since it was her ex’s movie。 But it was more than that。 He was thinking about Vanessa and her film grant; and how excited she was for her future。 Serena wasn’t like that。 Serena was smart; but she was never especially ambitious。
Vanessa sauntered into the kitchen。 “Hey;” she said casually。 She didn’t want Dan to think she’d specifically e out of her bedroom to see him。 She opened the refrigerator and made an elaborate show of pawing through its contents。
“I don’t think there’s anything there。 I haven’t eaten yet; either。 Want a pizza?” Dan asked。
“Sure。” Vanessa shrugged。
Dan moved over to the counter and ordered a large double cheese; onion; and pepper。 He turned to Vanessa after he hung up。 “Serena had plans with Blair; so I saw your ex’s movie tonight。 The one about the Maoris in Iceland?”
“And?” Vanessa asked curiously。 She still hadn’t seen it; though the movie posters were on subway cars and bus shelters everywhere。 She really didn’t know if she wanted Dan to love or hate the film。
“You could have done it better;” Dan added。 “I can’t wait to see what you make in Indonesia。”
Vanessa smiled; her heart melting a little bit。 That was exactly what she wanted to hear。
Dan grinned。 “Did you ever think this is who you’d bee?” he asked; settling onto the counter。
“What do you mean?”
“I mean—going to Indonesia。 Being a real filmmaker。 Like; back when you were eighteen; wouldn’t you be so excited if you knew this was who you’d be four years later?” Dan asked; stirring his Folgers coffee crystals into his favorite chipped white mug。
“Yes; I’d be excited。 But I always thought…” She trailed off。 She’d meant to say that back then; whenever she imagined her future life; she imagined herself and Dan together。 “I don’t know。” She shrugged; not finishing the sentence。 “What about you?”
Dan closed his eyes。 He’d thought he’d be more in control of his life; be more sure of what he was doing。 Of course; everything seemed perfect。 Outside of his two poems in The New Yorker; he’d been published in some of the most prestigious literary journals in the country。 He was dating a movie star。 He was heading to the best grad program for writing in the world。 But somehow; something seemed… inplete。 “Yeah; things worked out。” Dan shrugged。
“You and Serena seem good together;” Vanessa offered after a pause。 She’d never really talked about Dan’s relationship with Serena before。
“Yeah; she’s great;” Dan said distantly。 Serena was great。 But no matter what; they didn’t have as strong a connection as he described in the poems he wrote about their relationship。 It wasn’t the marriage of two minds; not really。 It was more like falling in love with an illusion of perfection。
Sounds like we’ve got the beginnings of another poem。
Just then; the buzzer rang。
“Saved by the bell。” Vanessa grinned as she stood up and pulled a twenty from the back pocket of her tight black jeans。 After paying the delivery boy; she set the steaming box of pizza on the coffee table in the living room。
She grabbed a slice of pizza and sat cross…legged on the scuffed hardwood floor。 This was what she was going to miss: the Humphreys’ fortably ramshackle apartment; Marx; Norma; and the overarching feeling of pride that somehow; despite all odds; she’d transformed from the scrappy; friendless daughter of hippie parents from Vermont into an inspiring young filmmaker who mattered。
Dan grabbed a slice and sat down next to her。 A glob of sauce landed on the front of his brown sweater。
Vanessa cracked a grin。 “I’d have thought you’d have better manners four years later; that’s for sure;” she said as he dabbed the sauce away with a paper napkin。
“That’s for sure;” Dan said sheepishly as he leaned against the couch and took a large bite of pizza。 Vanessa smiled fondly at him。 It was cute the way he’d spilled all over himself。 It was nice to know that some things would always stay the same。
Another small glob of sauce dripped from Dan’s chin; threatening to spill onto his sweater。 “You’re a mess。” She shook her head bemusedly as she leaned in to catch it。 But Dan leaned in too; and suddenly; their lips were connecting。 Dan tasted like pizza and coffee and something else—a Dan…ness she’d forgotten she missed。
Dan leaned closer to Vanessa; running his fingers through her thick; shoulder…length hair and tracing the back of her neck with his hand。
As if they were following the steps to a dance only they knew; they stood without breaking their kiss。 Vanessa took Dan’s hand; and led him to her bedroom。
So this is what their young
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