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hePowerofSmile
戴尔·卡耐基
DaleCarnegie
戴尔·卡耐基(1888—1955),美国著名的心理学家和人际关系学家。卡耐基开创的“人际关系训练班”遍布世界各地。他以超人的智慧、严谨的思维,在道德、精神和行为准则上指导万千读者,给予人们安慰、鼓舞,使读者从中汲取力量,从而生活,开创崭新的人生。早期著作《人性的光辉》《语言的突破》《美好的人生》《人性的优点》曾被译成28种文字,其中《人性的弱点》一书,是继《圣经》之后世界出版史上第二畅销书!
AceintheHole
Understandthesenewwordsbeforeyoureadthisarticle。
1。grouchn。不高兴的人
2。eliminatev。清除
3。miserableadj。痛苦的
Youmusthaveagoodtimemeetingeoleifyouexectthemtohaveagoodtimemeetingyou。
Ihaveaskedthousandsofbusinesseoletosmileatsomeoneeveryhourofthedayforaweekandthencometoclassandtalkabouttheresults。Howdiditwork?Let’ssee。。。HereisaletterfromWilliamB。Steinhardt,aNewYorkstockbroker。Hiscaseisntisolated。Infact,itistyicalofhundredsofcases。
“Ihavebeenmarriedforovereighteenyears,”wroteMr。Steinhardt,“andinallthattimeIseldomsmiledatmywifeorsoketwodozenwordstoherfromthetimeIgotuuntilIwasreadytoleaveforbusiness。IwasoneoftheworstgroucheswhoeverwalkeddownBroadway。
“Whenyouaskedmetomakeatalkaboutmyexeriencewithsmiles,IthoughtIwouldtryitforaweek。Sothenextmorning,whilecombingmyhair,Ilookedatmyglummuginthemirrorandsaidtomyself,‘Bill,youaregoingtowiethescowloffthatsourussofyourstoday。Youaregoingtosmile。Andyouaregoingtobeginrightnow。’AsIsatdowntobreakfast,Igreetedmywifewitha‘Goodmorning,mydear’,andsmiledasIsaidit。”
“Youwarnedmethatshemightbesurrised。Well,youunderestimatedherreaction。Shewasbewildered。Shewasshocked。Itoldherthatinthefutureshecouldexectthisasaregularoccurrence,andIketitueverymorning。”
“ThischangedattitudeofminebroughtmorehainessintoourhomeinthetwomonthssinceIstartedthantherewasduringthelastyear。”
“AsIleaveformyoffice,Igreettheelevatoroeratorintheaartmenthousewitha‘Goodmorning’andasmile;Igreetthedoormanwithasmile。IsmileatthecashierinthesubwayboothwhenIaskforchange。AsIstandontheflooroftheStockExchange,Ismileateolewhountilrecentlyneversawmesmile。”
“Isoonfoundthateverybodywassmilingbackatme,Itreatthosewhocometomewithcomlaintsorgrievancesinacheerfulmanner,IsmileasIlistentothemandIfindthatadjustmentsareaccomlishedmucheasier。Ifindthatsmilesarebringingmedollars,manydollarseveryday。”
“Isharemyofficewithanotherbroker。Oneofhisclerksisalikableyoungcha,andIwassoelatedabouttheresultsIwasgettingthatItoldhimrecentlyaboutmynewhilosohyofhumanrelations。HethenconfessedthatwhenIfirstcametosharemyofficewithhisfirmhethoughtmeaterriblegrouch—andonlyrecentlychangedhismind。HesaidIwasreallyhumanwhenIsmiled。”
“Ihavealsoeliminatedcriticismfrommysystem。Igiveareciationandraisenowinsteadofcondemnation。IhavestoedtalkingaboutwhatIwant。Iamnowtryingtoseetheothererson’sviewoint。Andthesethingshaveliterallyrevolutionizedmylife。Iamatotallydifferentman,ahaierman,aricherman,richerinfriendshisandhainess—theonlythingsthatmattermuchafterall。”
Youdon’tfeellikesmiling?Thenwhat?Twothings。First,forceyourselftosmile。Ifyouarealone,forceyourselftowhistleorhumatuneorsing。Actasifyouwerealreadyhay,andthatwilltendtomakeyouhay。HereisthewaythesychologistandhilosoherWilliamJamesutit:
Actionseemstofollowfeeling,butreallyactionandfeelinggotogether;andbyregulatingtheaction,whichisunderthemoredirectcontrolofthewill,wecanindirectlyregulatethefeeling,whichisnot。
Thusthesovereignvoluntaryathtocheerfulness,ifourcheerfulnessbelost,istositucheerfullyandtoactandseakasifcheerfulnesswerealreadythere…
Everybodyintheworldisseekinghainess—andthereisonesurewaytofindit。Thatisbycontrollingyourthoughts。Hainessdoesn’tdeendonoutwardconditions。Itdeendsoninnerconditions。
Itisn’twhatyouhaveorwhoyouareorwhereyouareorwhatyouaredoingthatmakesyouhayorunhay。Itiswhatyouthinkaboutit。Forexamle,twoeolemaybeinthesamelace,doingthesamething;bothmayhaveaboutanequalamountofmoneyandrestige—andyetonemaybemiserableandtheotherhay。Why?Becauseofadifferentmentalattitude。IhaveseenjustasmanyhayfacesamongtheooreasantstoilingwiththeirrimitivetoolsinthedevastatingheatofthetroicsasIhaveseeninair-conditionedofficesinNewYork,ChicagoorLosAngeles。
“Thereisnothingeithergoodorbad,”saidShakeseare,“butthinkingmakesitso。”
AbeLincolnonceremarkedthat“mostfolksareaboutashayastheymakeutheirmindstobe”。Hewasright。
Wheneveryougoout-of-doors,drawthechinin,carrythecrownoftheheadhigh,andfillthelungstotheutmost;drinkinthesunshine;greetyourfriendswithasmile,andutsoulintoeveryhandclas。Donotfearbeingmisunderstoodanddonotwasteaminutethinkingaboutyourenemies。
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