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第4章 黑猫4(第1页)

nightasIsat,halfstuefied,inadenofmorethaninfamy,myattentionwassuddenlydrawntosomeblackobject,reosinguontheheadofoneoftheimmensehogsheadsofGin,orofRum,whichconstitutedthechieffurnitureoftheaartment。Ihadbeenlookingsteadilyatthetoofthishogsheadforsomeminutes,andwhatnowcausedmesurrisewasthefactthatIhadnotsoonererceivedtheobjectthereuon。Iaroachedit,andtoucheditwithmyhand。Itwasablackcat—averylargeone—fullyaslargeasPluto,andcloselyresemblinghimineveryresectbutone。Plutohadnotawhitehairuonanyortionofhisbody;butthiscathadalarge,althoughindefiniteslotchofwhite,coveringnearlythewholeregionofthebreast。

Uonmytouchinghim,heimmediatelyarose,urredloudly,rubbedagainstmyhand,andaeareddelightedwithmynotice。This,then,wastheverycreatureofwhichIwasinsearch。Iatonceofferedtourchaseitofthelandlord;butthisersonmadenoclaimtoit—knewnothingofit—hadneverseenitbefore。

Icontinuedmycaresses,and,whenIrearedtogohome,theanimalevincedadisositiontoaccomanyme。Iermittedittodoso;occasionallystooingandattingitasIroceeded。Whenitreachedthehouseitdomesticateditselfatonce,andbecameimmediatelyagreatfavoritewithmywife。

Formyownart,Isoonfoundadisliketoitarisingwithinme。ThiswasjustthereverseofwhatIhadanticiated;butIknownothoworwhyitwas—itsevidentfondnessformyselfratherdisgustedandannoyed。Byslowdegrees,thesefeelingsofdisgustandannoyanceroseintothebitternessofhatred。Iavoidedthecreature;acertainsenseofshame,andtheremembranceofmyformerdeedofcruelty,reventingmefromhysicallyabusingit。Ididnot,forsomeweeks,strike,orotherwiseviolentlyilluseit;butgradually—verygradually—Icametolookuonitwithunutterableloathing,andtofleesilentlyfromitsodiousresence,asfromthebreathofaestilence。

Whatadded,nodoubt,tomyhatredofthebeast,wasthediscovery,onthemorningafterIbroughtithome,that,likePluto,italsohadbeenderivedofoneofitseyes。Thiscircumstance,however,onlyendearedittomywife,who,asIhavealreadysaid,ossessed,inahighdegree,thathumanityoffeelingwhichhadoncebeenmydistinguishingtrait,andthesourceofmanyofmysimlestandurestleasures。

Withmyaversiontothiscat,however,itsartialityformyselfseemedtoincrease。Itfollowedmyfootsteswithaertinacitywhichitwouldbedifficulttomakethereadercomrehend。WheneverIsat,itwouldcrouchbeneathmychair,orsringuonmyknees,coveringmewithitsloathsomecaresses。IfIarosetowalkitwouldgetbetweenmyfeetandthusnearlythrowmedown,or,fasteningitslongandsharclawsinmydress,clamber,inthismanner,tomybreast。Atsuchtimes,althoughIlongedtodestroyitwithablow,Iwasyetwithheldfromsodoing,artlybyamemoryofmyformercrime,butchiefly—letmeconfessitatonce—byabsolutedreadofthebeast。

Thisdreadwasnotexactlyadreadofhysicalevil-andyetIshouldbeatalosshowotherwisetodefineit。Iamalmostashamedtoown—yes,eveninthisfelonscell,Iamalmostashamedtoown—thattheterrorandhorrorwithwhichtheanimalinsiredme,hadbeenheightenedbyoneofthemerestchimaerasitwouldbeossibletoconceive。Mywifehadcalledmyattention,morethanonce,tothecharacterofthemarkofwhitehair,ofwhichIhavesoken,andwhichconstitutedthesolevisibledifferencebetweenthestrangebeastandtheoneIhaddestroyed。Thereaderwillrememberthatthismark,althoughlarge,hadbeenoriginallyveryindefinite;but,byslowdegrees—degreesnearlyimercetible,andwhichforalongtimemyreasonstruggledtorejectasfanciful—ithad,atlength,assumedarigorousdistinctnessofoutline。ItwasnowthereresentationofanobjectthatIshuddertoname—andforthis,aboveall,Iloathed,anddreaded,andwouldhaveridmyselfofthemonsterhadIdared—itwasnow,Isay,theimageofahideous—ofaghastlything—oftheGallows!—oh,mournfulandterribleengineofHorrorandofCrime—ofAgonyandofDeath!

AndnowwasIindeedwretchedbeyondthewretchednessofmereHumanity。Andabrutebeast—whosefellowIhadcontemtuouslydestroyed—abrutebeasttoworkoutforme—formeaman,fashionedintheimageoftheHighGod—somuchofinsufferablewo!Alas!NeitherbydaynorbynightknewItheblessingofRestanymore!Duringtheformerthecreatureleftmenomomentalone;and,inthelatter,Istarted,hourly,fromdreamsofunutterablefear,tofindthehotbreathofthethinguonmyface,anditsvastweight—anincarnateNight-MarethatIhadnoowertoshakeoff—incumbenteternallyuonmyheart!

Beneaththeressureoftormentssuchasthese,thefeebleremnantofthegoodwithinmesuccumbed。Evilthoughtsbecamemysoleintimates—thedarkestandmostevilofthoughts。Themoodinessofmyusualtemerincreasedtohatredofallthingsandofallmankind;while,fromthesudden,frequent,andungovernableoutburstsofafurytowhichInowblindlyabandonedmyself,myuncomlainingwife,shewasthemostusualandthemostatientofsufferers。

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