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then when she chased me around at recess and tried to lay kisses on me； the whole school
started singing； “Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree； K…I…S…SI…
N…G…”
My first year in town was a disaster。
Third grade wasnt much better。 She was still hot on my trail every time I turned around。
Same with fourth。 But then in fifth grade I took action。
It started out slow — one of those Nah…thats…not…right ideas you get and forget。 But the more
I played with the idea； the more I thought； What
better way to ward Juli off？ What better way to say to her； “Juli； you are not my type”？
And so； my friend； I hatched the plan。
I asked Shelly Stalls out。
To fully appreciate the brilliance of this； you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls。
She always has； though it beats me why。 Shellys nice
and shes friendly and shes got a lot of hair。 Whats not to like？ But Juli hated her； and I was
going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution
to my problem。
What I was thinking was that Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a
little with me。 That way； anytime Juli was around； all Id
have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly and things would just naturally take care of
themselves。 What happened； though； is that Shelly took
things way too seriously。 She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were
in love。
In no time Juli and Shelly got into some kind of catfight； and while Shelly was recovering from
that； my supposed friend Garrett — who had been
totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to。 Hes always denied it； but Ive since
learned that his code of honor is easily corrupted by weepy
females。
……… Page 6………
That afternoon the principal tried cross…examining me； but I wouldnt cop to anything。 I just
kept telling her that I was sorry and that I really didnt
understand what had happened。 Finally she let me go。
Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real
jerk； which was even worse than having Juli as a
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