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her repulse me with double scorn; thereby re…exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature。
I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation。 I took a book—some Arabian tales; I sat down and endeavoured to read。 I could make no sense of the subject; my own thoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found fascinating。 I opened the glass…door in the breakfast…room: the shrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned; unbroken by sun or breeze; through the grounds。 I covered my head and arms with the skirt of my frock; and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees; the falling fir…cones; the congealed relics of autumn; russet leaves; swept by past winds in heaps; and now stiffened together。 I leaned against a gate; and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding; where the short grass was nipped and blanched。 It was a very grey day; a most opaque sky; “onding on snaw;” canopied all; thence flakes felt it intervals; which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without melting。 I stood; a wretched child enough; whispering to myself over and over again; “What shall I do?—what shall I do?”
All at once I heard a clear voice call; “Miss Jane! where are you? e to lunch!”
It was Bessie; I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step came tripping down the path。
“You naughty little thing!” she said。 “Why don’t you e when you are called?”
Bessie’s presence; pared with the thoughts over which I had been brooding; seemed cheerful; even though; as usual; she was somewhat cross。 The fact is; after my conflict with and victory over Mrs。 Reed; I was not disposed to care much for the nursemaid’s transitory anger; and I was disposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart。 I just put my two arms round her and said; “e; Bessie! don’t scold。”
The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to indulge in: somehow it pleased her。
“You are a strange child; Miss Jane;” she said; as she looked down at me; “a little roving; solitary thing: and you are going to school; I suppose?”
I nodded。
“And won’t you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?”
“What does Bessie care for me? She is always scolding me。”
“Because you’re such a queer; frightened; shy little thing。 You should be bolder。”
“What! to get more knocks?”
“Nonsense! But you are rather put upon; that’s certain。 My mother said; when she came to see me last week; that she would not like a little one of her own to be in your place。—Now; e in; and I’ve some good news for you。”
“I don’t think you have; Bessie。”
“Child! what do you mean? What sorrowful eyes you fix on me! Well; but Missis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this afternoon; and you shall have tea with me。 I’ll ask cook to bake you a little cake; and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I am soon to pack your trunk。 Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a day or two; and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you。”
“Bessie; you must promise not to scold me any more till I go。”
“Well; I will; but mind you are a very good girl; and don’t be afraid of me。 Don’t start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it’s so provoking。”
“I don’t think I shall ever be afraid of you again; Bessie; because I have got used to you; and I shall soon have another set of people to dread。”
“If you dread them they’ll dislike you。”
“As you do; Bessie?”
“I don’t dislike you; Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the others。”
“You don’t show it。”
“You little sharp thing! you’ve got quite a new way of talking。 What makes you so venturesome and hardy?”
“Why; I shall soon be away from you; and besides”—I was going to say something about what had passed between me and Mrs。 Reed; but on second thoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head。
“And so you’re glad to leave me?”
“Not at all; Bessie; indeed; just now I’m rather sorry。”
“Just now! and rather! How coolly my little lady says it! I dare say now if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn’t give it me: you’d say you’d rather not。”
“I’ll kiss you and wele: bend your head down。” Bessie stooped; we mutually embraced; and I followed her into the house quite forted。 That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie told me some of her most enchaining stories; and sang me some of her sweetest songs。 Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine。
Chapter 5
田汉代表作(中国现代文学百家系列) 火影之伪暗 哈克贝利·费恩历险记 乖乖女变身黑道公主 母亲怀了我的孩子 西湖梦寻 寄生女友佐奈 女神收藏家 行者 银之十字架与吸血姬 女大学生蜕变记 魏晋南北朝史讲演录 孽卵 丁玲短篇集 全景玛雅 白客 胖女孩,有人爱 动漫之梦游三国 村头那棵樟树 蓝色特快上的秘密-蓝色列车之谜-蓝色列车(英文版)
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