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have no fear。 Do with me and for me as you like; but excuse me from much discourse—my breath is short—I feel a spasm when I speak。” All three surveyed me; and all three were silent。
“Hannah;” said Mr。 St。 John; at last; “let her sit there at present; and ask her no questions; in ten minutes more; give her the remainder of that milk and bread。 Mary and Diana; let us go into the parlour and talk the matter over。”
They withdrew。 Very soon one of the ladies returned—I could not tell which。 A kind of pleasant stupor was stealing over me as I sat by the genial fire。 In an undertone she gave some directions to Hannah。 Ere long; with the servant’s aid; I contrived to mount a staircase; my dripping clothes were removed; soon a warm; dry bed received me。 I thanked God—experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a glow of grateful joy—and slept。
Chapter 29
The recollection of about three days and nights succeeding this is very dim in my mind。 I can recall some sensations felt in that interval; but few thoughts framed; and no actions performed。 I knew I was in a small room and in a narrow bed。 To that bed I seemed to have grown; I lay on it motionless as a stone; and to have torn me from it would have been almost to kill me。 I took no note of the lapse of time—of the change from morning to noon; from noon to evening。 I observed when any one entered or left the apartment: I could even tell who they were; I could understand what was said when the speaker stood near to me; but I could not answer; to open my lips or move my limbs possible。 Hannah; the servant; ing disturbed me。 I had a feeling that she wished me away: that she did not understand me or my circumstances; that she was prejudiced against me。 Diana and Mary appeared in the chamber once or twice a day。 They would whisper sentences of this sort at my bedside—
“It is very well we took her in。”
“Yes; she would certainly have been found dead at the door in the morning had she been left out all night。 I wonder what she has gone through?”
“Strange hardships; I imagine—poor; emaciated; pallid wanderer?”
“She is not an uneducated person; I should think; by her manner of speaking; her accent was quite pure; and the clothes she took off; though splashed and wet; were little worn and fine。”
“She has a peculiar face; fleshless and haggard as it is; I rather like it; and when in good health and animated; I can fancy her physiognomy would be agreeable。”
Never once in their dialogues did I hear a syllable of regret at the hospitality they had extended to me; or of suspicion of; or aversion to; myself。 I was forted。
Mr。 St。 John came but once: he looked at me; and said my state of lethargy was the result of reaction from excessive and protracted fatigue。 He pronounced it needless to send for a doctor: nature; he was sure; would manage best; left to herself。 He said every nerve had been overstrained in some way; and the whole system must sleep torpid a while。 There was no disease。 He imagined my recovery would be rapid enough when once menced。 These opinions he delivered in a few words; in a quiet; low voice; and added; after a pause; in the tone of a man little accustomed to expansive ment; “Rather an unusual physiognomy; certainly; not indicative of vulgarity or degradation。”
“Far otherwise;” responded Diana。 “To speak truth; St。 John; my heart rather warms to the poor little soul。 I wish we may be able to benefit her permanently。”
“That is hardly likely;” was the reply。 “You will find she is some young lady who has had a misunderstanding with her friends; and has probably injudiciously left them。 We may; perhaps; succeed in restoring her to them; if she is not obstinate: but I trace lines of force in her face which make me sceptical of her tractability。” He stood considering me some minutes; then added; “She looks sensible; but not at all handsome。”
“She is so ill; St。 John。”
“Ill or well; she would always be plain。 The grace and harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features。”
On the third day I was better; on the fourth; I could speak; move; rise in bed; and turn。 Hannah had brought me some gruel and dry toast; about; as I supposed; the dinner…hour。 I had eaten with relish: the food was good—void of the feverish flavour which had hitherto poisoned what I had swallowed。 When she left me; I felt paratively strong and revived: ere long satiety of repose and desire for action stirred me。 I wished to rise; but what could I put on? Only my damp and bemired apparel; in which I had slept on the ground and fallen in the marsh。 I felt ashamed to appear before my benefactors so clad。 I was spared the humiliation。
On a chair by the bedside were all my own things; clean and dry。 My black silk frock hung against the wall。 The traces of the bog were removed from it; the creases left by the wet smoothed out: it y very shoes and stockings were purified and rendered presentable。 There were the means of washing in the room; and a b and brush to smooth my hair。 After a weary process; and resting every five minutes; I succeeded in dressing myself。 My clothes hung loose on me; for I was much wasted; but I covered deficiencies with a shawl; and once more; clean and respectable looking—no speck of the dirt; no trace of the disorder I so hated; and which seemed so to degrade me; left—I crept down a stone staircase with the aid of the banisters; to a narrow low passage; and found my way presently to the kitchen。
It was full of the fragrance of new bread and the warmth of a generous fire。 Hannah was baking。 Prejudices; it is well known; are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there; firm as weeds among stones。 Hannah had been cold and stiff; indeed; at the first: latterly she had begun to relent a little; and when she saw me e in tidy and well…dressed; she even smiled。
“What; you have got up!” she said。 “You are better; then。 You may sit you down in my chair on the hearthstone; if you will。”
She pointed to the rocking…chair: I took it。 She bustled about; examining me every now and then with the corner of her eye。 Turning to me; as she took some loaves from the oven; she asked bluntly—
“Did you ever go a…begging afore you came here?”
I was indignant for a moment; but remembering that anger was out of the question; and that I had indeed appeared as a beggar to her; I answered quietly; but still not without a certain marked firmness—
“You are mistaken in supposing me a beggar。 I am no beggar; any more than yourself or your young ladies。”
After a pause she said; “I dunnut understand that: you’ve like no house; nor no brass; I guess?”
“The want of house or brass (by which I suppose you mean money) does not make a beggar in your sense of the word。”
“Are you book…learned?” she inquired presently。
“Yes; very。”
“But you’ve never been to a boarding…school?”
“I was at a boarding…school eight years。”
She opened her eyes wide。 “Whatever cannot ye keep yourself for; then?”
“I have kept myself; and; I trust; shall keep myself again。 What are you going to do with these gooseberries?” I inquired; as she brought out a basket of the fruit。
“Mak’ ‘em into pies。”
“Give them to me and I’ll pick them。”
“Nay; I dunnut want ye to do nought。”
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