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the floor; and a repetition of all the gleam and shadowof the picture; with one remove farther from the actual; and nearer tothe imaginative。 Then; at such an hour; and with this scene beforehim; if a man; sitting all alone; cannot dream strange things; andmake them look like truth; he need never try to write romances。  But; for myself; during the whole of my Custom…House experience;moonlight and sunshine; and the glow of firelight; were just alikein my regard; and neither of them was of one whit more avail thanthe twinkle of a tallow…candle。 An entire class of susceptibilities;and a gift connected with them… of no great richness or value; but thebest I had… was gone from me。  It is my belief; however; that; had I attempted a different order ofposition; my faculties would not have been found so pointless andinefficacious。 I might; for instance; have contented myself withwriting out the narratives of a veteran shipmaster; one of theInspectors; whom I should be most ungrateful not to mention; sincescarcely a day passed that he did not stir me to laughter andadmiration by his marvellous gifts as a story…teller。 Could I havepreserved the picturesque force of his style; and the humorouscolouring which nature taught him how to throw over hisdescriptions; the result; I honestly believe; would have beensomething new in literature。 Or I might readily have found a moreserious task。 It was a folly; with the materiality of this dailylife pressing so intrusively upon me; to attempt to fling myselfback into another age; or to insist on creating the semblance of aworld out of airy matter; when; at every moment; the impalpable beautyof my soap…bubble was broken by the rude contact of some actualcircumstance。 The wiser effort would have been; to diffuse thought andimagination through the opaque substance of to…day; and thus to makeit a bright transparency; to spiritualise the burden that began toweigh so heavily; to seek; resolutely; the true and indestructiblevalue that lay hidden in the petty and wearisome incidents; andordinary characters; with which I was now conversant。 The fault wasmine。 The page of life that was spread out before me seemed dull andmonplace; only because I had not fathomed its deeper import。 Abetter book than I shall ever write was there; leaf after leafpresenting itself to me; just as it was written out by the realityof the flitting hour; and vanishing as fast as written; only becausemy brain wanted the insight and my hand the cunning to transcribeit。 At some future day; it may be; I shall remember a few scatteredfragments and broken paragraphs; and write them down; and find theletters turn to gold upon the page。  These perceptions have e too late。 At the instant; I was onlyconscious that what would have been a pleasure once was now a hopelesstoil。 There was no occasion to make much moan about this state ofaffairs。 I had ceased to be a writer of tolerably poor tales andessays; and had bee a tolerably good Surveyor of the Customs。That was all。 But; nevertheless; it is anything but agreeable to behaunted by a suspicion that ones intellect is dwindling away; orexhaling; without your consciousness; like ether out of a phial; sothat; at every glance; you find a smaller and less volatileresiduum。 Of the fact there could be no doubt; and; examining myselfand others; I was led to conclusions; in reference to the effect ofpublic office on the character; not very favourable to the mode oflife in question。 In some other form; perhaps; I may hereafter developthese effects。 Suffice it here to say; that a Custom…House officer; oflong continuance; can hardly be a very praiseworthy or respectablepersonage; for many reasons; one of them; the tenure by which he holdshis situation; and another; the very nature of his business; which…though; I trust; an honest one… is of such a sort that he does notshare in the united effort of mankind。  An effect… which I believe to be observable; more or less; inevery individual who has occupied the position… is; that; while heleans on the mighty arm of the Republic; his own proper strengthdeparts from him。 He loses; in an extent proportioned to theweakness or force of his original nature; the capability ofself…support。 If he possess an unusual share of native energy; orthe enervating magic of place do not operate too long upon him; hisforfeited powers may be redeemable。 The ejected officer… fortunatein the unkindly shove that sends him forth betimes; to struggle amid astruggling world… may return to himself; and bee all that he hasever been。 But this seldom happens。 He usually keeps his ground justlong enough for his own ruin; and is then thrust out; with sinewsall unstrung; to totter along the difficult footpath of life as hebest may。 Conscious of his own infirmity… that his tempered steeland elasticity are lost… he forever afterwards looks wistfully abouthim in quest of support external to himself。 His pervading andcontinual hope… a hallucination; which; in the face of alldiscouragement; and making light of impossibilities; haunts himwhile he lives; and; I fancy; like the convulsive throes of thecholera; torments him for a brief space after death… is; that finally;and in no long time; by some happy coincidence of circumstances; heshall be restored to office。 This faith; more than anything else;steals the pith and availability out of whatever enterprise he maydream of undertaking。 Why should he toil and moil; and be at so muchtrouble to pick himself up out of the mud; when; in a little whilehence; the strong arm of his Uncle will raise and support him? Whyshould he work for his living here; or go to dig gold in California;when he is so soon to be made happy; at monthly intervals; with alittle pile of glittering coin out of his Uncles pocket? It issadly curious to observe how slight a taste of office suffices toinfect a poor fellow with this singular disease。 Uncle Sams gold…meaning no disrespect to the worthy old gentleman… has; in thisrespect; a quality of enchantment like that of the Devils wages。Whoever touches it should look well to himself; or he may find thebargain to go hard against him; involving; if not his soul; yet manyof its better attributes; its sturdy force; its courage and constancy;its truth; its self…reliance; and all that gives the emphasis to manlycharacter。  Here was a fine prospect in the distance! Not that the Surveyorbrought the lesson home to himself; or admitted that he could be soutterly undone; either by continuance in office; or ejectment。 Yetmy reflections were not the most fortable。 I began to growmelancholy and restless; continually prying into my mind; todiscover which of its poor properties were gone; and what degree ofdetriment had already accrued to the remainder。 I endeavoured tocalculate how much longer I could stay in the Custom…House; and yet goforth a man。 To confess the truth; it was my greatest apprehension… asit would never be a measure of policy to turn out so quiet anindividual as myself; and it being hardly in the nature of a publicofficer to resign… it was my chief trouble; therefore; that I waslikely to grow grey and decrepit in the Surveyorship; and beemuch such another animal as the old Inspector。 Might it not; in thetedious lapse of official life that lay before me; finally be withme as it was with this venerable friend… to make the dinner…hour thenucleus of the day; and to spend the rest of it; as an old dogspends it; asleep in the sunshine or in the shade? A dreary lookforward this; for a man who felt it to be the best definition ofhappiness to live throughout the whole range of his faculties andsensibilities! But; all this while; I was giving myself veryunnecessary alarm。 Providence had meditated better things for methan I could possibly imagine for myself。  A remarkable event of the third year of my Surveyorship… to adoptthe tone of 〃P。 P。〃… was the election of General Taylor to thePresidency。 It is essential; in order to a plete estimate of theadvantages of official life; to view the incumbent at the iningof a hostile administration。 His position is then one of the mostsingularly irksome; and; in every contingency; disagreeable; that awretched mortal can possibly occupy; with seldom an alternative ofgood; on either hand; although what presents itself to him as theworst event may very probably be the best。 But it is a strangeexperience; to a man of pride and sensibility; to know that hisinterests are within the control of individuals who neither love norunderstand him; and by whom; since one or the other must needs happen;he would rather be injured than obliged。 Strange; too; for one who haskept his calmness throughout the contest; to observe thebloodthirstiness that is developed in the hour of triumph; and to beconscious that he is himself among its objects! There are few ugliertraits of human nature than this tendency… which I now witnessed inmen no worse than their neighbours… to grow cruel; merely because theypossessed the power of inflicting harm。 If the guillotine; asapplied to office…holders; were a literal fact; instead of one ofthe most apt of metaphors; it is my sincere belief; that the activemembers of the victorious party were sufficiently excited to havechopped off all our heads; and have thanked Heaven for theopportunity! It appears to me… who have been a calm and curiousobserver; as well in victory as defeat… that this fierce and bitterspirit of malice and revenge has never distinguished the many triumphsof my own party as it now did that of the Whigs。 The Democrats takethe offices; as a general rule; because they need them; and becausethe practice of many years has made it the law of political warfare;which; unless a different system be proclaimed; it were weakness andcowardice to murmur at。 But the long habit of victory has made themgenerous。 They know how to spare; when they see occasion; and whenthey strike; the axe may be sharp; indeed; but its edge is seldompoisoned with ill…will; nor is it their custom ignominously to kickthe head which they have just struck off。  In short; unpleasant as was my predicament; at best; I saw muchreason to congratulate myself that I was on the losing side; ratherthan the triumphant one。 if; heretofore; I had been none of thewarmest of partisans; I began now; at this season of peril andadversity; to be pretty acutely sensible with which party mypredilections lay; nor was it without something like regret and shame;that; according to a reasonable calculation of chances; I saw my ownprospect of retaining office to be better than those of myDemocratic brethren。 But who can see an inch into futurity; beyond hisnose? My head was the first that fell!  The moment when a mans head drops off is seldom or never; I aminclined to think; precisely the most agreeable of his life。Nevertheless; like the greater part of our misfortunes; even soserious a contingency brings its remedy and consolation with it; ifthe sufferer will but make the best; rather than the worst; of theaccident which has befallen him。 In my particular case; theconsolatory topics were close at hand; and; indeed; had suggestedthemselves to my meditations a considerable time before it 。 In view of my previous weariness of office; andvague thoughts of resignation; my fortune somewhat resembled that of aperson who should entertain an idea of mitting suicide; and

太阳之塔  叛逆野玫瑰  男魅魔异世启示录  作为意志和表象的世界  白银的卡露  汉阙三国梦  风之王国  惨!我家一夜破产了  灵域剑仙  西游记(缩写本)  通往奴役之路-到奴役之路  两岸惊涛中的毛泽东与蒋介石 作者:[中]尹家民  黄帝内经灵枢集注  莲灯微光里的梦-林徽因的一生  幽默公寓  搜神记(白话版)  使琉球录三种  文天祥传  修福积德造命法  列女传[汉]刘向  

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