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couldnt　possibly　be　him。　We　each　sniffed　him　out

pretty　good　and　he　smelled　perfectly　rosy。

My　personal　suspicion　was　that　Matt　and　Mike　were　the　ones　not　bathing　enough；　but　I　didnt

want　to　get　close　enough　to　sniff　them。　And　since

our　camp　was　divided　on　just　who　the　culprit　or　culprits　were；　the　odor　was　dubbed　the

Mystery　Smell。　Whole　dinnertime　discussions　revolved

around　the　Mystery　Smell；　which　my　brothers　found　amusing　and　my　mother　did　not。

Then　one　day　my　mother　cracked　the　case。　And　she　might　have　cracked　Champs　skull　as

well　if　my　dad　hadnt　e　to　the　rescue　and　shooed

him　outside。

Mom　was　fuming。　“I　told　you　it　was　him。　The　Mystery　Smell　es　from　the　Mystery　Pisser！

Did　you　see　that？　Did　you　see　that？　He　just　squirted

on　the　end　table！”

My　father　raced　with　a　roll　of　paper　towels　to　where　Champ　had　been；　and　said；　“Where？

Where　is　it？”

All　of　three　drops　were　dripping　down　the　table　leg。　“There；”　my　mother　said；　pointing　a

shaky　finger　at　the　wetness。　“There！”

Dad　wiped　it　up；　then　checked　the　carpet　and　said；　“It　was　barely　a　drop。”

“Exactly！”　my　mother　said　with　her　hands　on　her　hips。　“Which　is　why　Ive　never　been　able　to

find　anything。　That　dog　stays　outside　from　now　on。　Do

you　hear　me？　He　is　no　longer　allowed　in　this　house！”

“How　about　the　garage？”　I　asked。　“Can　he　sleep　in　there？”

“And　have　him　tag　everything　thats　out　there？　No！”

Mike　and　Matt　were　grinning　at　each　other。　“Mystery　Pisser！　That　could　be　the　name　for　our

band！”

“Yeah！　Cool！”

“Band？”　my　mother　asked。　“Wait　a　minute；　what　band？”　But　they　were　already　flying　down　to

their　room；　laughing　about　the　possibilities　for　a

………　Page　30………

logo。

My　father　and　I　spent　the　rest　of　the　day　sniffing　out　and　destroying　criminal　evidence。　My

dad　used　a　spray　bottle　of　ammonia；　I　followed　up　with

Lysol。　We　did　try　to　recruit　my　brothers；　but　they　wound　up　getting　into　a　spray…bottle　fight；

which　got　them　locked　in　their　room；　which；　of　course；

was　fine　with　them。

So　Champ　became　an　outside　dog；　and　he　might　have　been　our　only　pet　ever　if　it　hadnt

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