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，但一定是从你当时的选择中能得到的最大快乐。尝试一些新的东西，也许，你总是想尝试更多，却总觉得做不到。那么，带着一种寻根问底的态度去试试看吧，你可能会发现它们令你愉快，并想继续下去；可能发现它们很好，但不值得继续；也可能发现自己根本不喜欢，把它们删除会感觉更好。尝试并真正去经历，会让你的自我感觉更好，也会让你对自己的能力更有信心。

…　心灵小语

在日常生活中，我们所接受的教育往往会使我们对自己产生怀疑，认为自己缺乏某种能力。但我们可以尝试着去理解这种教育方式，并学习新的方式以增强自我认可度、自我认同感，真正地接受自己。

Learning　to　Accept　Yourself

Anonymous

We　are　not　born　doubting　ourselves。　We　learn　to　do　it。　In　fact；　we　are　usually　taught　to　doubt　ourselves。　Often　we　are　taught　to　do　so　by　otherwise　well…meaning　people　who　are　passing　along　their　own　doubts　and　uncertainties　and　who　believe　they　are　being　protective　and　caring。　What　these　people　（usually　parents　and　other　significant　adults）　want　are　strong；　capable　and　self…confident　people；　but　they　often　inadvertently　teach　us　thought　processes　that　lead　to　something　else。　That’s　the　bad　news。　The　good　news　is　that　we　can　understand　some　of　these　processes　and　learn　new　ways　of　coping　that　allow　us　to　bee　more　accepting　of　ourselves。　Following　are　six　behaviors　you　may　have　learned　that　can　be　unlearned　and　allow　you　to　move　toward　greater　self…acceptance。

Moralistic1　Self…judgment

One　way　to　really　dislike　yourself　is　to　always　judge　yourself　in　a　very　moralistic　way。　People　often　spend　a　lot　of　time　and　energy　labeling　their　behavior　with　moral　adjectives　such　as　“bad”　“hateful”　and　“mean”。　When　you　apply　these　kinds　of　words　to　yourself　you　make　liking　yourself　much　more　difficult。　There　is　a　more　productive　way　of　looking　at　yourself　that　will　allow　you　to　begin　to　like　yourself　more。　　Instead　of　evaluating　yourself　in　this　moralistic　way；　begin　to　ask　questions　like：　“Did　I　do　what　I　really　wanted　to　do　in　this　situation？”“How　can　I　correct　the　misunderstanding　that　occurred？”　In　other　words；　you　can　start　to　view　what　you’ve　done　as　productive　or　non…productive　rather　than　as　good　or　bad。　If　something　is　non…productive；　you　can　focus　on　what　you　have　learned　from　it　and　try　another　approach　that　might　be　more　productive。

Over…generalizing

Another　thing　that　might　cause　you　not　to　accept　yourself　is　over…generalizing　about　something　you’ve　done　that　you　don’t　like。　So；　for　example；　if　you　fail　a　test　you　might　generalize　and　say；　“I’m　really　a　stupid　person。”　When　you　do　this　you　are　making　a　statement　about　all　of　you　all　of　the　time　and　not　just　about　this　one　situation　at　this　time。　Instead；　you　might　decide　that　your　grade　on　this　test　in　this　subject　at　this　time　was　indeed　poor；　and　then　go　on　to　decide　what　you　want　to　do　about　your　poor　grade；　if　anything。　Getting　stuck　in　over…generalizing　discourages　you　from　taking　steps　that　might　allow　you　to　do　better　on　the　next　exam　and　builds　an　expectation　of　future　failure。

学会接受自己（3）

Impossibly　High　Standards

Having　standards　that　are　impossibly　high　is　a　third　way　you　can　not　accept　yourself。　It　may　not　e　as　a　surprise　to　you　that　most　of　us　are　more　demanding　of　ourselves　than　we　are　of　others。　Somehow　we　can　tolerate　the　fact　that　other　people　fail；　that　they　aren’t　always　kind；　that　they’ve　done　things　they　aren’t　proud　of；　but　we　have　difficulty　accepting　those　very　human　aspects　of　ourselves。　The　need　to　be　perfect　is　another　way　to　set　yourself　up　for　failure　and　enhance　the　feeling　that　you　are　not　acceptable。　We　all　make　mistakes。　Accepting　less　than　perfection　simply　means　recognizing　the　limitations　inherent2　in　being　born　a　human　being。　　Learn　to　value　who　you　are　rather　than　who　you　could　bee。　To　quote　Linus；　a　sober　and　often　worried　character　from　a　popular　ic　strip；“The　world’s　heaviest　burden　is　a　great　potential。”　Wouldn’t　it　be　overwhelming　if　we　always　had　to　do　what　we　imagine　we　could　do？　Nobody　has　the　time　and　energy　to　do　all　of　that。　We　must　make　choices　about　what　we　will　pursue　and　do　them　the　best　we　can　under　the　circumstances　（which　aren’t　always　ideal；　by　the　way）。

Not　Accepting　that　there　Are　Real　Limits　to　Your　Abilities

The　idea　that　you　should　always　be　able　to　attain　your　goals　as　long　as　you　work　hard　enough　is　another　factor　interfering　with　self…acceptance。　You　will　reach　many　of　your　goals　and　should　give　yourself　credit　for　having　done　so。　　Some　of　us　have　trouble　seeing　our　successes　because　we　focus　so　much　on　our　failures　and　many　times　the　failures　e　after　a　lot　of　hard　work　and　personal　suffering。　It　seems　that　all　that　hard　work　should　pay　off　in　our　having　reaching　the　goal　we　set　out　to　achieve。　It　is　hard　to　accept　that　a　given　goal　may　be　out　of　our　reach　and　that　may　be　because　of　many　factors；　including　the　fact　that　we　may　not　have　the　talent　or　skill　needed　to　reach　the　goal。　Of　course　there　may　be　other　factors　in　operation　that　make　the　achieving　of　that　goal　at　that　time　impossible—　health　concerns；　financial　problems；　family　difficulties；　extraneous　stressors；　or　any　number　of　other　factors　acting　alone　or　together。　The　real　trick　to　self…acceptance　is　to　see　that　the　goal　is　unattainable；　at　least　for　now；　and　shifting　your　focus　to　acplishing　what　you　can　acplish　under　the　circumstances。　That　could　include　evaluating　your　original　goal　and　deciding　whether　or　not　to　continue　with　it。　It　also　means　giving　yourself　credit　for　what　you　have　acplished　and　what　you　have　learned　from　your　experiences。

The　parison　Trap

Judging　yourself　by　what　others　have　acplished　is　a　sure　way　to　lower　your　self…acceptance。　Have　you　noticed　that　you　never　pare　yourself　to　people　who　seem　to　aspire　to　less　than　you　do　and　that　you　always　chose　those　people　who　are　the　top　performers　or　the　most　popular　as　your　yardstick3　for　success？　Are　you　as　good　as　your　friends；　your　brother　or　sister；　your　parents　or　Joe　Blow？　And　how　about　trying　to　be　like　“normal”　people　are？　（And　who　or　what　determines　what　is　“normal”？）　Can　you　only　be　good　if　you’re　better　than　someone　else？　When　we　use　other　people　as　our　yardstick；　we　aren’t　taking　into　consideration　our　own　personal　limitations　or　talents。　For　example；　if　someone　seems　to　be　more　articulate　than　you；　you　can　respond　in　one　of　two　ways：　You　can　bee　upset　and　depressed　by　telling　yourself　that　you　should　be　as　articulate4　as　that　person；　or　you　can　recognize　and　accept　the　fact　that　there　are　probably　a　lot　of　people　out　there　who　are　more　articulate　than　you　at　certain　times　and　under　certain　circumstances　and　that　is　OK。　It　doesn’t　mean　a　thing　about　you。　Playing　the　parison　game　is　a　dead　end　street。　By　doing　that　you　are　probably　missing　some　other　qualities　by　which　you　can　judge　your　own　worth；　like　your　honesty；　friendliness；　caring　nature；　dedication　and　so　forth。　And　really；　people　don’t　value　you　for　how　much　you　are　like　someone　else。　They　do　value　you　for　the　ways　you　are　being　you。。　最好的txt下载网

学会接受自己（4）

Passivity5

Just　passively　letting　your　life　happen　may　make　it　more　difficult　to　accept　yourself。　Part　of　accepting　yourself　is　engaging　in　activities　that　help　you　like　yourself。　Think　back　to　those　times　when　you　weren’t　concerned　about　your　acceptability。　What　kinds　of　things　were　you　doing？　How　were　you　spending　your　time？　To　accept　and　like　yourself　means　that　you　approve　of　how　you　are　living　your　life。　If　you　aren’t　accepting　yourself；　you　probably　don’t　like　the　activities　you’re　engaged　in。　You　are　feeling　dissatisfied。　A　way　to　increase　your　self…acceptance　is　to　bee　more　actively　engaged　in　your　life。　Look　for　those　activities　and　relationships　that　give　you　the　most　enjoyment　—not　necessarily　the　most　enjoyment　you　could　possibly　have；　but　the　most　you　can　get　from　your　choices　at　the　moment。　Try　new　things；　perhaps　things　you　have　always　wanted　to　try　but　didn’t　because　you　felt　you　couldn’t　do　them。　Try　them　with　the　attitude　that　you　want　to　know　what　it　would　actually　be　like　to　do　them。　You　may　find　that　they　are　enjoyable　and　that　you　want　to　continue　them。　You　may　find　that　they　are　OK；　but　not　worth　continuing。　You　may　find　that　you　don’t　like　them　at　all　and　feel　fine　about　crossing　them　off　your　list　of　things　to　do。　Trying　and　getting　real　experience　is　a　way　of　feeling　better　about　yourself　and　gaining　more　confidence　in　your　abilities。

txt小说上传分享

爱自己

佚名

小时候，我总觉得自爱是一种虚荣，不是优点。

长大后，像很多人一样，我逐渐摈弃了这种观念。虚荣和自爱之间有着天壤之别。

我们都在人世间努力奋斗，所追寻的或多或少有几分相似：奉献、让我们的人生有价值、爱与被爱、欢笑甚至……哭泣。

我们寻求庇护所、食物、伴侣、温暖、衣服、家庭、朋友，追求赞赏、爱情和自尊。我们都不完美。通常，在追求过程中，我们忘记了生活中细微的快乐。过分沉溺在过去，专注在未来，和其他的一切可能，结果我们的今天反而遗失了。让昨天长眠吧，活在今天，来期待和梦想明天。

如果某些部分有损你的形象，妨碍你去爱自己，只要你能够，改变它吧！生活中有太多控制不了的事，但是我们自己，却可以控制。你是黏土，同时也是雕刻家，你有能力创造一幅杰作。模型和样板已经形成，你要做的只是精雕细琢。

这个任务轻松吗？不，它有瑕疵和缺陷，你需要坚持不懈地努力，像一个雕刻家那样在作品完成之前，反复雕琢。雕塑家难道会因为某件作品有一点瑕疵或裂痕，就认为该作品毫无价值，而将之抛弃吗？当然不会，那样的话，世间还有艺术珍品吗？我想一件都没有。你想想，会有多少杰作在创造的过程中是毫无缺陷、没有经过任何改动、一蹴而就的呢？我们怎能看不见所有艺术品中最最珍品的人类呢？它才是最有生命力、生生不息的杰作。

多少次，你听到一个这样的问题：人类将何去何从？至少在我看来，这个答案要看我们的创造，因为是我们在编织未来。你就是无价之宝，万事万物中无可替代。尽管身为杰作，我们并不完美，但别让昨天阻碍你明天的成就。

再重申一次，这些言语只是我个人的感受和想法，人的思想会随着明天的日落而改变，尽管我也在继续雕琢这块与生俱来的泥塑，它就叫做自我。

Love　of　Self

Anonymous

When　I　was　younger；　I　thought　that　to　love　one’s　self　was　vanity　and　not　a　virtuous1　trait。

As　I　have　grown　older；　that　belief　has　passed　away；　as　have　so　many　others。　There　is　a　vast　deviation2　between　being　vain　and　loving　one’s　self。

We　are　all　in　this　world　together　striving　for　more　or　less　the　same　things。　To　contribute　and　have　our　lives　count　for　something。　To　love　and　be　loved；　to　laugh　and…yes；　to　cry。

We　seek　shelter；　nourishment；　a　mate；　warmth；　clothing；　family；　friends；　we　seek　approval；　love　and　self…esteem。　We　are　all　imperfect。　Often　during　our　search　we　forget　to　simply　enjoy　what　life　is。　We　bee　so　caught　up　in　what　could　have　been；　what　should　be；　what　might　be；　that　many　of　our　todays　are　lost。　Let　yesterday　rest；　live　for　today；　hope　and　dream　for　your　tomorrows。

If　there　is　some　part　of　you　that　lessens　your　self…image；　some　part　of　you　that　prevents　you　from　loving　yourself；　change　it；　for　only　you　can。　Life　is　filled　with　things　we　have　no　control　over；　but　ourselves；　we　can　control。　You　are　the　clay；　you　are　the　sculptor3　and　you　have　the　ability　to　create　a　masterpiece。　The　shape　and　form　are　there。　You　have　only　to　refine　the　work。

Is　the　task　an　easy　one？　No。　There　will　be　sips　and　flaws　and　you　will　be　required　to　work　and　rework　just　as　a　sculptor　must　rework　the　clay　before　the　piece　is　pleted。　Shou

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